What Is LiFe?

I having been thinking, should I have put this down in my my blog? I asked myself this questions over and over and over... Maybe I should, I may sound insane with this but I dont care anymore, I had enough. To start with, I never ever felt any good things happen in my life. Every little things were just so frustrating, irritating, worthless and useless. I hate the part when there was decision making between friends, as to where to go what to do, and everytime, the arrow was at me to decide, to take charge. Fine! You guys may think isnt that good? But in the end, what do everyone do? Everyone started to pick at what I decide, or else things went wrong when they didnt take my heeds and I was to blame. Duh! What the heck~! No one had taken me seriously.

I hate the part where people turned up late for appointments, extremely late especially. I am ok if you had a valid reason! But some people just dont, and make me looked like a stupid idiot waiting, or even delayed in making an appointment, couldnt decide and yet left me hanging in the suspension as in whether we were to meet up and make me wait by the phone like a senseless moron. Ok, you may say I can call the person up to verify or question.. What if that particular person just never pick up my call?

I know I was not born rich. So what was wrong to buy my stuff from the Far East Plaza? I know I couldnt fit into groups of those rich brat bit**es. I wasnt to blame, I didnt come to know they were that extreme... "OOOoo!! Your shorts are so cute!! Where do you get them from?" The brats cooed.. Their eyes lighted up with envy and delight. "I got the shorts from Far East Plaza" I said without any wayward expression. Their faces fell with disappointment and turned away. What is so great about wearing branded goods and you couldnt carry well? I got pretty pissed about the whole thing and their attitude of other things. The hilarous thing about the whole thing is, I got chided by reacting that way.. I was told that I took things too seriously and that I shouldnt be affected by them, and worse I was pointed out to have a lousy character. Fine! I am not cut out to have any rich friends anyway.. and they are not my friends., I just happen to be there. Was that my fault then?

At home, I never wanted to talk to anyone. No one ever knew my deepest secrets, I found that I couldnt trust anyone. I was betrayed before. And that I would never forget. Be it days, months or even years, I am forever scarred with the memories. They didnt trust me, so why should I anymore?

Everyone thought I was a happy go lucky and "qin-chai" gal. I may look this way, but in the end what did I get that destroy my self-esteem? I feel so unimportant everywhere... I really hope there is this blackhole in the solar system that can suck me in forever

Quote Of The Day: "Promises Are Meant To Be Kept, They Are Not Meant To Be Broken"